"Cannabis Gave Me My Life Back"

Agonising migraines had put Marie Summers in a 'prison of pain', until she overcame inhibitions about using an illegal drug. The result seemed like a miracle

from The Independent - HERE

In what felt like a moment of madness, I Googled the medicinal effects of cannabis on migraines and related neurological conditions. What I found was a surprise, and almost an unwanted one at that. I didn't want to read how effective it could be, because I didn't want to feel compelled to try something that I'd once done for an illicit pleasure. I've been trained to expect my medicine to be extremely unpleasant, and like the Victorians were with sex, if I'm enjoying it I must be doing something wrong. After reading arguments for and against, I decided that trying cannabis had significantly less risk of side-effects than nearly every other prescription drug I had already legally tried, but with less of a "hit and miss" approach to the matter. I, like most chronic pain sufferers, am strongly advised not to take any pain relievers, from morphine to paracetamol, because they cause rebound pain and significantly compound the problem. When modern medicine sentences you to a lifetime of pain with little hope for a cure this simply adds insult to injury. Medical evidence shows that cannabis almost certainly does not cause rebound pain; in this it is almost unique among viable pain relief medicines. The opportunity to break the cycle chipping away at my brain seemed to be presenting itself; I still had to decide if I was brave enough to break the law at the advanced parental age of 31.

Taking my inspiration from Bertrand Russell, who said, "One should as a rule, respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways," I reflected on the aspect of staying out of prison. This is of crucial importance to me, not for my own sake (I can be sick anywhere) but for my young son's. Once I resolved that I was prepared to fight any charge that might be brought upon me in the event I was caught with cannabis, the decision had made itself.

After managing to find some marijuana, it sat unused and hidden in a far corner of the house. I continued to suffer as before, but I'd lost my courage. I remembered being high as a teenager, and I didn't want to be like that again. I didn't want to lose control of myself amid a roomful of sober adults. My internal battle waged for four weeks. Four weeks of society's conditioning wearing away while I wept. Finally one night when the pain became too extraordinary, it was either try the pot or go to A&E to be scanned in case I'd had an aneurysm. In my hospital-jaded and exhausted state, I finally opted for the pot, reasoning that if it was an aneurysm it would still be there afterwards, but if not I'd feel better and save myself an unnecessary trip.

Within minutes of taking a small amount of cannabis there was not an inch of my body in pain, and my tremors had stopped. My body felt at peace, and I don't think I can ever convey the enormity of that to anyone. Nothing hurt or felt wrong. I was still weak, but I could move with as much ease and grace as I used to. Yes, I was intoxicated, but it was not how I remembered it from my teenage years. Perhaps it was the smaller amount I used, just enough to free my body from its prison. I felt I was smiling more than usual, but this truly seemed to be because the mantle of agony I am normally covered in had been lifted. I certainly wasn't hearing or saying unusual things. Nevertheless, the "high" period was brief yet the health effects remained for a full 24 hours. It seemed to be a miracle. I tried to imagine the warning label if this was manufactured by a pharmaceutical company: "Will induce slight giddiness and loss of any concept of time for approximately two hours. Full beneficial effects will continue for 24 hours." An acceptable trade-off?